2011年6月1日 星期三

Discussing Cause-2

  Mr. Williams closed his music store on December 19. I find out that there are some reasons which caused this.  First, the store was on a small side street just outside of town and it is 3 miles away from the shopping center. As a customer, I will go to the shopping center instead of the store outside of town. Moreover, most of the CDs in the store were hip-hop and rock. Although the store was located next to the Fairfax Apartment, the residents of the apartment were almost middle-aged and senior citizens. They’re usually not interested in these music styles, so they wouldn’t buy them. In addition, the shop was open on weekdays from 1 to 5 p.m. While most people get off duty or leave school at 5 or 6 p.m. As a result, passenger traffic would become few during it's business hours. Whatmore, Mr. Williams would not accept checks or credit cards and it was inconvenient to customers who didn't have cash on hand. Due to all of these reasons, one must conclude that the business must be slack and eventually closed down.

7 則留言:

  1. get off duty
    有點奇怪= =
    直接寫leave school and office~
    比較好=)

    at 5 or 6 p.m.
    about 5 p.m.比較好喔~

    Whatmore
    這個是拼錯的~

    這次的內容豐富多了~
    很好><

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  2. First, the store was on a small side street just outside of town and it is 3 miles away from the shopping center.(from the big ~加上"大"會更有威脅性XDD

    As a customer, I will go to the shopping center instead of the store outside of town.(~go to the latter instead of the former~這樣可以不會跟前面的那句重複到=)

    They’re usually not interested in these music styles, so they wouldn’t buy them.(前面可以加To take it fore granted(想當然爾),they ~這樣子感覺會更漂亮^^

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  3. I find out that there are some reasons which caused this.

    I find out that there are some reasons (for) which caused this.

    倒數四 是What’s more

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  4. from the shopping center這裡用了的話是之前有提過所以應該用a

    They’re usually -->They’re generally

    Whatmore-->What's more(這個好笑~)
    這次很長唷~而且也很順~很棒

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  5. 6th the residents of the apartment顧客不單單只是公寓的吧 可以寫area :D

    倒數4 whatmore -> what's more 打太快XDD

    賣摳的文章越來越好了x)

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  6. 挖看到這篇的第一句話我想說 賣摳你的文章變好多:)):))
    賣摳長大了(泣~~
    I find out that there are some reasons which caused this.我覺得不要直接接this比較好耶
    可以改成this result會比較清楚
    Whatmore=))=))這句再即時通打對在這裡卻打錯!~~笑死我:o)
    然後slack用的很棒喔o__<

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  7. Whatmore, Mr. Williams would not accept checks or credit cards and it was inconvenient to customers who didn't have cash on hand.
    >>>>What's more~

    有些新用詞
    很棒:>>

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