2011年5月18日 星期三

Comparing-3

  Basketball and baseball are my favorite sports, and they have some similarities. First of all, basketball needs teamwork. Moreover, basketball and baseball are alike in having annual tournaments. I often watch the games on TV with my family. Furthermore, basketball is as popular as baseball. I usually play basketball with my classmates after school. In addition, both basketball and baseball have excellent players, such as Kobe Bryant, A-Rod, Chien-Ming Wang and so on. Above all, basketball and baseball are very interesting to me, and I really enjoy the two sports.
張貼者： 於

8 則留言:

  1. 曉芸2011年5月18日 晚上11:46

    Basketball and baseball are my favorite sports, and they have some similarities. =>To me, basketball~用籃球直接開頭有點突兀~在加個甚麼東西會比較好喔~
    I often watch the games on TV with my family.=>family and I always~可以加上感到很興奮~很感動這些會比較完整喔~整句
    Furthermore, basketball is as popular as baseball. I usually play basketball with my classmates after school.後面可以在多加一點句子增加豐富度喔~

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  2. 惠芳2011年5月19日 凌晨4:59

    開頭感覺要多加點...
    Basketball and baseball are (both general) sports (all over the world). (Besides,) they have some similarities.
    類似這樣...多多補充些~~~

    First of all, basketball needs teamwork.
    這句baseball沒有比較到喔><

    and I really enjoy the two sports.
    這句怪怪的~
    and I really enjoy both of them.
    就行了喔=)

    這篇有多方補充!!!
    有進步喔~

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  3. XUAN (13)2011年5月25日 晚上11:13

    Furthermore, basketball is as popular as baseball. I usually play basketball with my classmates after school. 這兩句的語意不合
    籃球跟棒球一樣受歡迎 我放學常常跟同學打籃球
    需要改一下喔

    In addition, both basketball and baseball have excellent players, such as Kobe Bryant, A-Rod, Chien-Ming Wang and so on.
    但是你沒有說下文
    你只是把有名的人列出來 你可以說你的偶像是誰誰誰
    還是你很崇拜誰想要效仿誰這類的

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  4. 佳穎2011年5月25日 晚上11:27

    First of all, basketball needs teamwork.後面沒有棒球跟籃球的比較耶 既然你前面都說有很多相似的地方了
    就應該把他完整寫出來~~然後句型重複滿多的唷
    and跟both可以改掉~然後文章內容不夠豐富唷

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  5. 靖苡2011年5月25日 晚上11:37

    First of all, basketball needs teamwork.
    阿baseball勒XD

    後面Above all, basketball and baseball are very interesting to me, and I really enjoy the two sports.
    我覺得...→ Above all, I am interested in basketball and baseball very much and really enjoy palying them.

    建議你有些basketball and baseball 可以用they代名詞呈現，不然好雜ˊˊ

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  6. 珍儀2011年5月27日 晚上8:39

    First of all, basketball needs teamwork.
    -->First of all, basketball needs teamwork, and so does baseball.這樣才有兩個相同喔!~

    有時候你列點完的補充句子悍那句的關聯好像沒有很大，所以會有情緒中斷的感覺
    果然是Michael喜歡的~那些球員的名字對我很陌生...

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  7. 椿茱2011年5月28日 晚上11:21

    First of all, basketball needs teamwork. 後面可以再加一句棒球也是之類的 因為這個是比較阿:D
    such as Kobe Bryant, A-Rod, Chien-Ming Wang and so on這句我看來有些唐突 因為沒有前因後果只說他們各式棒球籃球中的名人 建議可以多些句子描述

    這篇文章很顯然就是麥可的風格欸:)) 棒球籃球!!
    但是比較玩了之後總覺稍嫌不足 其實你每一點後加一句敘述應該整篇就會很漂亮了 加油喔!

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  8. 玲儀2011年6月1日 晚上11:56

    整偏還漫完整的喔 :)

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