John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were important person in history. John Adams played an important role in the American Revolution. Likewise, Thomas played an important role in the American Revolution. Both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were the delegates to the Continental Congress. And John Adams was the signer of Declaration of Independence. Similarly, Thomas Jefferson was the signer of Declaration of Independence. Moreover, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were alike in being the president of United States . Furthermore, both of them studied and practiced law. John Adams died on the same date as Thomas Jefferson. If you want to know more about their achievements, you can read the history book.
person --> persons
回覆刪除耶!!只有一個小小小錯
小錯誤而已
回覆刪除大致上很順暢
語法沒有太大問題
:>
And 放句首不太好看喔!!!
回覆刪除可以用學過的副詞代替~
像moreover或in addition=)
history book感覺太大概了~
可以改you can read some book about American history.
這篇跟COMPARING1結構好像~
回覆刪除雖然很順,不過還是可以多加一些連接詞喔
或是自己的話來解釋一下
If you want to know more about their achievements, you can read the history book.=> If you want to know more about their achievements, you can read the history book which contains as much information as you can obtain.
回覆刪除寫的還滿中肯的喔~
結構和句子沒有什麼大問題呢~
important person >> important persons
回覆刪除being the president of United States
>> being the presidents of the United States
其他應該沒什麼問題~:)
people唷~
回覆刪除兩個important可以有一個改成crucial唷~ 會比較好吧~~
大致上具法都懂用的都對也有轉折辭所以很順暢!!~
大致上沒什麼問題呢!
回覆刪除建議likewise 和similarly則一使用就好
不然會讓文章的文字一直重複,不討喜
或是改變句式
ya! 好棒:D