2011年4月27日 星期三
Comparing-1
Lourie’s hoody and Green’s hoody are on sale. Both of them are ladies hoodies. Lourie’s hoody is machine washable. Similarly, Green’s hoody is machine washable. Lourie’s hoody is cotton blend. Likewise, Green’s hoody is cotton blend. And the size of Lourie’s hoody is like the size of Green’s hoody. Moreover, Louries’ hoody’ choices of the colours are as many as Green’s. Most important of all, Louries’s hoody and Green’s hoody are alike in the price. They just cost 34.99 dollars. If you want to buy one, you can consider the hoodies of the two brands.
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Lourie’s hoody and Green’s hoody are on sale. Both of them are ladies hoodies.
回覆刪除後面那句和前面的意思是一樣的吧 (= =)
in the price-->at~~
不錯!!
Most important of all, Louries’s hoody and Green’s hoody are alike in the price. They just cost 34.99 dollars.
回覆刪除>>>那個阿 !! 後面那句跟前面那句有點像，所以省略應該沒關系
文章可以加一接連接詞連接:>
寫的很順暢阿 !
開頭可加In the end of the year, Lourie’s hoody and Green’s hoody are on sale.
回覆刪除加上些故事性會更酷XD
讓人看了很清楚喔~
第一句和第二句好像再繞口令:))
回覆刪除然後賣摳你這篇文章好像在賣東西喔
Lourie’s hoody and Green’s hoody are on sale.=>開頭可大概說明一下時間點喔^^
回覆刪除整體來說寫得不錯喔~只是感覺一直看到Lourie’s hoody and Green’s hoody~好饒舌喔~這兩個詞=ˇ=
一直重複兩家店家的名字有點複雜
回覆刪除你可以運動the former和the latter這類的
然後price要搭配at
還有地依據
你可以加上 clothes are on sale
還有我也同意一直重複店家的名字會讓文章好雜欸~
回覆刪除整體順暢我也看得順暢~~ 不過如果可以加點故事性或自己的情感會讓文章更有趣吧~
in the price// at the price
回覆刪除麥可進步了欸!!((拍拍手
你的文章變長了欸! 應該不是因為資訊比較多吧XD
不過真的比較順喔! 漸漸脫離說明書了: ) 恭喜!